poetry in prose

Chalcedon Term (fancy name for the first half of this semester) I memorized Mr. Nobody. This week's Rhetoric assignment was to write a short adaptation of a poem. Here is mine:

I know a funny little man, he leaves his fingerprints around the house and on your homework too. Always appearing to receive the blame but escaping before the consequences, Mr. Nobody knows just what he shouldn’t do. Quiet and mischievous, this alibi is great friends with kids; unmaking beds and slamming doors and rummaging through Legos (leaving them scattered on the floor). Mud smeared the length of the hallway, never could have come from the goulashes on your feet, Mr. Nobody must have crept in behind you. And when mom checks your chores and gives you the look, obviously it was Mr. Nobody who unraveled the toilet paper, splattered flecks of toothpaste on the mirror, and forgot to take his pet dust bunnies out with him. And in the kitchen he’s the one who broke the glass and bent the spoon that looks like and “S.”

Lest you think that Mr. Nobody was packed up with Buzz and Woody and thrown in the attic, you should know that he hangs around NSA too. Vibrating deep in someone’s pocket, why does Mr. Nobody not answer his phone, doesn’t he know we are in recitation? Ah, rude! Margins gross inflated and staple brazen skewed he turns in your assignments and somehow disappears when it’s time to take responsibility. Thanks Mr. Nobody, thanks.