3 words, 8 letters: tying hearts together

it's that simple.

Then why do we forget?

3 words is dinner by candlelight. 3 words is doing someone else's chore. 3 words is a reassuring smile and knowing look. 3 words is taking time to talk. 3 words is a ring with a diamond. 3 words is a creamy cuppa. 3 words dying to self. 3 words is all it takes.

i. love. you.

These words are not so common these days. Maybe not in your home, but in our culture as a whole they have been stashed on the shelf. Even in Christian circles it raised a listener's eyebrows when I said "I love you," as I finished a phone conversation with Mother Dear. Doesn't everyone say that to their mom? When the day's been hectic and dinner is burnt but about ready and the table still isn't set, it's time to take a breath and remember another 10 minutes won't hurt. If someone never says a cheerful good morning or just has a sour expression, find a way to say I love you.

"If I have all faith, so as to move mountains, and have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind; love does not envy nor boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrong doing, but rejoices in the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends." 1 Corinthians 13:2b-8a

I know it's hard to love, truly love, those that seem unlovable. But, guess what? The Bible doesn't give us the option to opt out or wish things were different. Okay, funny story--at college I had this one "friend" that was really getting on my nerves and I was finding it hard to be pleasant. Well, I was about to complain to someone over the phone about her, but I we got disconnected. Okay, whatever. Study group 1/2hour later, yes, she was there. And we were assigned to work on something together. Arg. Then, I arrived at my Bible Study and guess who decided to join? Who sat next to me at church? Who kept bumping into me with a smile and cheerful hello? I was being stalked and I didn't appreciate that. Why doesn't she just STOP IT!?? (well maybe, partly, cause she didn't know.) God gave me so many opportunities to be kind and, through much prayer and confession, put aside my petty poison against her. We're still not the best of friends, but I can say I truly don't have a problem with her anymore--it was mostly stuff on my end anyway and once that was dealt with all the little things that annoyed me faded into the background. Strange how it works that often when a person ticks you off it's because they have/can do things that you can't and that makes them a terrible person.

We don't normally have trouble loving our friends or the cute little kids at church or people we don't brush shoulders with everyday. Our enemies need our love. Our neighbors need our love. Our family members need our love. And it isn't easy--it's painful, and takes a lot of prayer and intentionality. It's not something we can hurdle on our own, but with God's strength working through us, we can conquer! Words are not the only thing we can use to communicate this to others. Do something out of your way to bless that someone who's slowly crawling under your skin. Clean out your closet of all the things that you've stashed away for future bitterness and look at your nemesis with new eyes.

Love isn't black and white. It looks different day in a day out; a hug when I wake up, a kiss before Daddy leaves for work, a smile from a brother when I see him doing something nice for a sibling, a letter in the mail, a conversation with a friend, a bit of alone time, a schedule full of family-time, a whole day working, a meal served with thoughtfulness...and the list is endless. Say this, do that, and check off the box for the day. That's not the point and gets relationships no where. It's in the everyday comments and jokes and eye twinkles that you say i love you.

Give someone in your family an unexpected hug and whisper 3 words.