Quasi-ninja Entertainment

Reminiscent of adventure packed, third-grade, “choose-your-ending” readers, Hero is a repetitive, over stylized martial arts spoof. Un-named and enigmatic, the samurai-warrior appears in the first scene and immediately displays his aggrandized mastery of judo. Hero, zealous for world renown fame, easily accomplishes his mission and defeats the three assassins, only for the story to rewind and revisit the epic narrative in new color schemes. Four colors, one hue prominent in each retelling, are used to show the emotions of the person describing the action sequence. However well coordinated the colors are to the feelings they are trying to provoke, they are distracting and discomfit the viewer by inundating the mind with an overload of stimulation. Moreover this film is chalk full of ridiculous phenomenons--lightening-fast reactions that are not humanly possible without special effects; ambivalent characters that vacillate between right and wrong; men flying through the air, brandishing otherwise unwieldable ornate katanas. Along with the fantastical, flawless choreography, these unrealistic elements turn the noble and manly qualities of ancient hand-to-hand skirmishes into bizarre ballet-like dances. Not to mention the irrelevant details that are added indiscriminately to the subsequent recurrent plots. Hero’s computerized reality is inordinately pathetic.

This was my last recitation before I go home for fall break! yay!!!