Can there be anything more annoying than sitting next to someone who has the dreadful habit of ksnerting? I don’t mean a person innocently teaching a child onomatopoeias. Or the chronically sinus-congested man who snores with out reprieve. No, not even the girl hysterically laughing and once in a while making an embarrassing nasal snort. I am referring to the people who realize they need to sneeze and try to be polite, but in doing so make themselves vastly more noticeable and obnoxious than they would otherwise have been. Sitting there with eyes tightly shut, mouth slightly open, gripping the arms of the chair, anticipating the explosion of stifled pressure which ultimately culminates in a stertorious and somewhat muffled, seizure-like attack. Everybody hears the ersatz sneeze and at least half of them turn around to see who the not-so-stealthy man was. On the other hand, simply sneezing is no big deal. It happens to the best of us when our noses are tickled. There is nothing to be ashamed of, just accept the amiable benediction you are bound to receive and move on; quite uncomplicated.

Ksnerters, know that the pain you undergo is all for not.